Talking is so out of vogue

Ok folks, I have yet to use this blog for a rant but here it is. Admittedly that's not the default of my temperament. As the moniker for this space implies, I value communication that goes both ways, and talk radio style blathering (which usually comes in the form of yelling) isn't my speed, even in writing. There are only a few things that can really propel me post haste onto a soap box. One of them is leaf blowers...don't get me started. The other is email.

It's not that I don't use it, or value it, for making connections, staying updated, coordinating plans and relaying information. Especially in business...it's efficient. It keeps things moving and speeds things up (not always a good thing), etc, etc. It's eco friendly, it's in writing. There are lots of benefits, and Microsoft would be glad to give us a white paper on them. Go ahead, google it!

It also goes without saying (but in a rant you get to say it anyway) that the notorious downside of email is the lack of social cues that you have when you communicate in person or over the phone. We're mammals--social, relational creatures--and those subtle intonations, expressions and body language shape the impact and meaning of what we say. In their amazing book A General Theory of Love, three psychiatrists explore the neurobiology of this connection and make the case that our very survivial depends on it. So all that goes out the window and we're left hanging in the breeze to interpret the words without the limbic phrase book.

But I digress. This is actually not the focus of today's rant. Today I am taking to task the cowardly cover that email gives people to not deal with each other like human adults when conflict arises. What is up with this? In the past week I have heard from at least two friends in business and another in a romantic pairing where conflict is occurring and misunderstandings are happening and everybody is trying to solve these relational issues with a form of communication that is for all intensive purposes just about as effective as a telegraph. Next thing you know we will be texting each other our break up letters...OMG UR DUN. Of course, even as I write this I realize this probably does happen with regularity and I have just shown myself to be oh-so 20th century.

Yes, it's easier to just shoot off an email instead of actually having to listen, reflect, deal with people's feelings (or our own). But you know, we're an evolving species. We can handle it. Strengthen that human courage gene in the greater scheme of things. By just using a little old-fashioned talking to each other. Pick up the phone. Lord knows everyone seems to have one. Better yet, meet at your favorite locally owned coffee shop. Chat a bit, discuss, straighten it out. You need to get out of the office for minute anyway. Still too scary? Get some skills! And guess what, you may find that in the end, things end up being more productive and satisfying to boot.

Agree? Disagree? I'd love to hear about it. Call me!!!