No Why-ning!

You want to ask the big W-H-Y? Check out "Flying On One Engine", Joshua Weinstein's unflinching documentary about the complex and heartbreaking life of a terminally ill surgeon who barely survives in the U.S., but drags his oxygen tank to in India each year to conduct mass-surgeries on children with facial deformities.

Why does this 8 time Nobel Prize nominee live in poverty? Why must these children live with such unbearable burdens? Why do soft drink executives sleep in 600 count sheets while a volunteer doctor shuffles around rats in his apartment....Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? (birth defects) Why? Why? Why? (starving children) Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? (roof caves in) Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? (car breaks down) Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? (moms with cancer) Why? Why? Why? Why?(no job in sight) Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?Why? Why? Why?Why? Why? Why? Why? (dad goes away) Why? Why? Why? Why? (tornadoes) Why? Why? Why? (floods) Why? Why? Why? Why? (fire) Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?Why? Why? Why? (greedy bastards) Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? (the Holocaust) Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? (war in Darfur) Why?Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? (deer ticks) Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?Why? Why? Why? (war, war, and more war) Why? Why? (it didn't work out) Why?Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?Why? Why? Why? (me). And so on.

So far, gnawing on it just hasn't proven fruitful. Karma? God's plan? Sadistic randomness? Greater minds than mine have contemplated the why's and wherefore's of Life's curve balls. I don't get to know the reason "bad" things happen. Besides, as a friend in recovery says, "'Figure it out' is just not one of our slogans.'" I guess what's more relevant, is...what now? I pray I can have even a thimble full of the courage and willingness displayed by the surgeon, parents, and patients in this film.

(But, if you simply must (whine), make it count! You can get a free hour to do so at Rob Brezny's Unhappy Hour where you can milk the why-ne for all its worth, and perhaps break through into the What Next?...

blessings all

green beds

I admit it, I'm a little jealous. My sweetie has been playing around in other beds.

Now why would he want to do that? We practically broke our necks and pushed our collective 100 years to the limit getting a mammoth mattress into the tiny loft of his cabin. It's now draped in deliciously warm and cozy blankets, including a moss-green one we affectionately call Green Acres, and a hand-dyed quilt that is somehow both rugged and gorgeous. Plus, a couple of days a week it has me in it. What more could he want?

Dirt. The man loves dirt. More accurately, he is in love with his garden and, like many garden-lovin' folks, spends as much time as he can between april and november tending to his raised beds with the devotion of a lover--tenderly placing seedlings and seeds in the warm soil of spring, weeding and watering and harvesting throughout the summer season, and, with the first frost, preparing the beds for winter with the tenderness of a dad tucking in his child.

This past Saturday, he solemnly led me to witness the hills of dirt covered in straw, ready to rest.

"They look like burial mounds," I said. "There could be bodies in there." I eyed him suspiciously.

"Look at this compost," he said, tactfully ignoring me. "This is good stuff. Come spring we are ready to go!" His face shines with satisfaction. I shake my head. You can't help but love the guy.

There are two kinds of people, garden people and non-garden people. I am of the non-garden variety, completely happy to enjoy the fragrance and visual appeal that edible landscapes add to neighborhoods, country roads, and even rooftops, but lacking any aptitude for the awe-inspiring process that brings juicy tomatoes and hearty zucchini from the earth.

Living in Asheville, home of all things green and progressive and organic, I'm admittedly self-conscious about this dirty little secret. (This is a gnawing feeling not unlike my fear that the Greenlife checkout gal will publicly shame me over the intercom for forgetting my canvas shopping bags, "Paper bag at line 2. She doesn't have her own bags." "I do have my own bags," I insist. "I just forgot them today!" Checkout gal rolls her eyes.)

Though I don't have the gardening gene, I do appreciate the hard work that makes the garden grow. I am a good appreciator, and glad to put in some sweat equity along the way. We devoured our summer feasts with gusto: thick slices of Cherokee Purple tomatoes, pestos bursting with the tang of thai and sweet basil, savory chutneys, and crisp yard-long beans. (Mustering enthusiasm about the steam on the compost pile is a little more challenging--this skill is for advanced appreciators--but I have diligently saved my banana peels and coffee grounds to do my part in building up the soil.)

Each summer morning before work, David would wade across the dewy grass to putter among the rows of beans and squash and herbs. Each night he would rush home eager as a suitor to visit the patch of soil on the south side of the creek.

"Are you going to see her again?" I teased.

While there are plenty of urban gardeners, my sweetheart lives out in the hinterlands of Western North Carolina. So when we first started dating (at the beginning of the growing season) I was a little skeptical about our country mouse/city mouse differences.

"I get allergic smelling hay," I sang in my best Eva Gabor accent.

How was this going to work? Could our attraction survive my pull toward urban activity and his pastoral past-times?

Joking aside, we considered the topic one day, sitting in the car during a spring downpour. I quoted Drew Barrymore in Ever After: "If the bird and the fish fall in love, where would they live?" Luckily I did not have to admit the source of the quote.

He stared thoughtfully through the windshield for a while, then finally answered in a quiet voice.

"Well, I know that we both need to be in a place that fits," he said. "And I also know that there's such a thing as a flying fish."

Well, he sure put that one to bed! How could you not love a guy like that? Compost, garden girlfriend, and all.